When You Wish Upon A Star
by LisaDouglas
Summary: Set in 1949, Sister Jude meets a little girl who changes her life.
1. When You Wish Upon A Star

Ch 1: When You Wish Upon A Star

Disclaimer: This is an AU story where Jude joined the church six years earlier than she actually did. She was still dumped by Casey and hit Missy, the girl in blue, both back in 1943, just before becoming a nun.

January 1949: St. Ursula's Home For Lost Children

Five-year-old Mary Eunice held her rag doll tightly to her chest. It was the last thing she had from home and she couldn't bare the thought of someone taking it from her...like everything else had been taken, so cruelly, and very quickly. The blonde shook as she tiptoed down the hall; the rickety old hardwood floor creaked beneath her steps as she inched along. In truth she was scared to death to move and yet she kept walking, something inside her propelled her to investigate her new surroundings: St. Ursula's Home For Lost Children. Part of her wanted to hide in a corner, curl up into a ball and cry, and another piece of her sought comfort so desperately that she had to at least try to seek it out.

She was five, and as such she'd already been put to bed. Some of the older kids however, were still up playing and doing homework. Mary could not sleep and had gotten out of bed to be alone, the faint hope that she'd find a friend hung loosely in her heart. So far, you see, no one had been nice to her here. The other children were so unlike herself: mean, loud, competitive, cruel...she was shy, quiet, and so introverted she could barely communicate with her family...well, back when she had a family. Mary Eunice walked out of the main rooms of the orphanage, where all the other kids were playing and down a dark narrow hall. No one had been willing to include her in their game. Mary was both crushed and relieved by this: she wanted to be included, but she was too distraught to play or talk with anyone. In fact, she had not spoken since it happened. Since she'd been told she was all-alone in the world now at five years old.

By now she thought she'd met everyone and was searching out a place of solace where she could look out the window and watch it rain. Mary was experiencing wavering moments of being alright, and then suddenly, without warning, she'd start to miss her Mommy too much and that lump would develop in her tummy again and she'd cry. Mary knew she needed to be alone when she cried next time. She'd cried her first two days there and this older boy, the bully Billie Porter, had punched her in the stomach for it.

Mary Eunice walked what felt like a great distance until she reached a small supply closet at the end of the dark, dusty hall. The door squeaked as she opened it and the little girl jumped back, afraid to go inside at first. But Mary Eunice felt the tears coming on and that more than anything else urged her to climb inside. Mary closed the door, her little eyes widening in the dark…she'd forgotten she was terrified of the dark too. She hugged her doll tighter and sunk to the ground as she began to blubber. Being so small and even more consumed by her own emotional state, Mary Eunice had not had the awareness to realize that she'd been being followed all this way, nor did she hear the sound of the nun's shoes going 'clunk-clunk-clunk' come to a screeching halt when she reached the supply closet.

Sister Jude lowered her head sympathetically, and reached out to the door handle of the cabinet wondering how much privacy she should give the little girl. She had not met little Mary Eunice yet, but had not been able to take her eyes off of her in the three days she'd been there. She was so adorable and Jude felt terrible for her: her story was more than tragic, and touched Jude deep inside her heart. Jude waited a moment and then got on her knees, opening the cabinet door.

"Ha!" The little girl jumped when she saw Jude, trying to hide her face.

So far, Mary Eunice did not like these nuns; they were mean ladies who made her even more afraid of her new environment.

"Ah honey." Jude smiled.

Mary looked up at the blonde nun's eyes, noting that she looked like her Mom. That made Mary feel more comfortable, but it also caused her eyes to well up with tears again.

"I know yar scared. It's alright."

"I-I miss my Mommy." She whispered.

"I know love. Here, come here."

Jude held out her arms to the child. Mary paused, looking at her up and down very carefully, quickly realizing that Jude was going to hug her, rather than take her harshly by the arm and drag her somewhere she didn't want to go. Mary held out her little arms and Jude picked her up, pulling her on her lap.

Neither of them said anything as Jude wrapped her arms around the girl, beginning to rock her as soon as she had her in her grasp. She felt Mary Eunice wrap her tiny hands around her arms, clinging to her tightly as she began to cry again.

"Oh sweetheart, it's okay, it's alright. Shu, ya just cry, it's okay ta cry did ya know that?" Mary nodded.

"I'm scared." She whispered.

"I know, I know, but yar gonna be okay. Yar a brave, beautiful girl." Jude gently lifted Mary's chin so that she would look up at her and began to dry her tears. Mary just sniffled.

"I'm scared. I wanna go home."

"I know ya do angel." Mary was surprised when Jude kissed the top of her head and picked her up.

She needed that simple kiss so badly, Mary didn't know how or why, perhaps it was supernatural or deeply psychological, but she was very suddenly at peace in this nun's arms and she felt like she wanted to stay in her embrace forever. Mary Eunice, who had not really slept in days, yawned and laid her head against Jude's shoulder.

"Where are we going?" She asked, fighting sleep now as Jude began, very slowly, to walk down the hall toward the room where the child slept.

"Yar a tiny girl, and its time far bed." She said, rubbing the little girl's back.

"I don't wanna go to bed…I wanna go to see Mommy and Daddy."

"I know ya do." Jude whispered, a tear rolling down her own cheek.

Somehow this girl's story reminded her of her own and it hurt deeply. Mary yawned again and wrapped her arms around Jude's neck, seeming to finally settle into sleep in her arms.

"There, there, that's it." Jude whispered as she lay her back down.

Jude sat down on the side of the child's bed as she prepared to tuck her in. All the children around them were fast asleep, and so it was as if the two were alone.

"Mmm…" Mary Eunice mumbled in protest.

"Shu, go to sleep." Jude whispered, running her fingers through the child's hair.

"No I…" She yawned. "I miss home too much. I want Mommy."

"I lost my Mommy too." Jude whispered, placing her forehead against Mary's. "I understand."

"You did?" Mary felt sad, but somehow comforted by this news, as if she had company in her mourning. Jude crawled into bed with Mary and took her into her arms, holding her tight.

"Yes. And I know ya wanna go home."

"I want stuff ta be okay." She whined. It was obvious to Jude that the child was overwhelmed both with sadness and exhaustion.

"I promise things will be okay, one day. Ya know what helps me?"

"What?" She inquired.

"Well look outside look up at the stars."

"Are Mommy and Daddy there?"

"Yes, yes they are. And they want ya ta be okay. All ya have ta do is look up at the stars."

"Like that one?"

"Yeah like that one." Jude whispered enthusiastically at the child's selection of a particular star. This one hung low in the sky and shined so bright it was as though it was there just for Mary Eunice. "Ya pick a star and ya make a wish on it and ya wish real hard and one day, it'll come true."

Tiny Mary Eunice McKee closed her eyes and wished upon the brightly shining start.

"What'd ya wish?" Jude asked.

"I can't tell you, it won't come true!" Mary whispered. The child was enthused now and Jude was ecstatic she'd been able to distract her from her sorrow, at least for a few moments.

"Oh, that's right." She smiled.

Jude kissed Mary Eunice and began to rock her, humming a soft tune as the girl yawned again, unable to keep her eyes open now.

"Good night sweetheart. I hope all yar wishes come true."

"Ni-ni…" Mary was barely able to say.

Sister Jude held the little girl and rocked her to sleep, having no idea that the child's wish had to do with her.


	2. Maybe We'll Get a Miracle

Ch 2- Maybe We'll Get A Miracle

"Jude?" Mary asked, her voice softer than usual.

Six months had passed since little Mary Eunice turned up at the orphanage. Not much had changed for her. She still missed her parents deeply, and was sad and withdrawn because of what had happened. Even so, she and Sister Jude had become close and she was also still friends with a little boy a few years her senior, named Oliver. Jude paused in the doorway, turning back toward the little girl. The window was open ajar and the gentle evening breeze blew threw her light blonde hair.

"Jude am I not good enough?"

"Not good enough. Not good enough for what?" She laughed. Mary looked down, fidgeting with the blanket in her hand. She swallowed, nervous to ask, but she felt compelled to. "For people- for people to take home. Why don't they like me?"

Mary felt like a sad little abandoned puppy. Today had been adoption day, the third of such days since she'd been at St. Ursula's Home For Lost Children. And for the third time, both she and Oliver had been completely looked over. He told her that that was his normal, and had been for the last eight years. He'd promised that the feeling would fade eventually. She'd grow used to it, he'd said. She'd become numb and cold to it. Mary didn't know how to feel about that, nor did she understand it.

Jude sighed and went and sat on Mary's bed.

"Ya're good enough." She smiled, taking the girl's chin in her hand. "In fact, yar the sweetest, most beautiful little girl I've ever known." Jude beamed and Mary smiled. "You and I are goin' somewhere tomorrow." She said.

She'd been waiting to tell the little girl about this and now that the subject had come up she supposed now was a good a time as any.

"Where?"

"Well. Some of the other nuns, the…"

"The ones who are your boss?" Mary interjected.

"Yes, that's right….they think yar not copin' real well with what's happened and that you need some help?"

"Oh?" Mary was scared.

"Yes." Jude smiled. "Yar going to go, you and I, to see a priest."

"A priest?"

"Yes munchkin. You can talk ta him about yar feelings."

"But you and I talk about feelings!"

"Yes we do my love, all the time. But sometimes you need a lot a people ta help when things are really painful." She said, tucking her back into bed.

"When they hurt a lot?" Mary asked, yawning.

"Yeah that's right."

"I'm scared."

"No, no it'll be alright." She swept Mary's hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. "I promise ya I'm going ta find ya the best home in the entire world."

The girl paused, saying nothing, her heart filled with sadness. There were only two homes in the whole wide world she wanted: one with her real parents, and one with Jude.

…

The next day, Jude dressed Mary in her best dress and took her out of the orphanage. Mary felt like she hadn't left St. Ursula's grounds in months and felt relieved to get back out into the world, even if it was a big word, one that scared her quite a bit.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"To the church sweetheart."

"Why?"

"To see the priest, remember?"

"Oh…" Mary was nervous. Her stomach started to ache badly when Jude announced this.

She allowed Jude to pull her up the steps to the church door, lowing her tiny head in fear as they walked. Jude took her down a couple of hallways and they sat on a bench outside a big oak wood door. Another nun, presumably the priest's secretary, told her they'd have to wait a few moments, that Brother Howard was on the phone.

Jude's heart leapt when she heard his name. she'd known it was Brother Howard they'd be seeing but even just hearing his name made her giddy. She had feelings for him. Feelings that were far less than appropriate considering their positions and she knew, every time she saw him that she turned into a complete idiot. It was embarrassing and there was nothing she could do to change it. She'd tried. Still, Timothy was a nice man. He always smiled lightly at her when she blushed too much or misspoke, sweetly acknowledging her attraction just enough to try to make her feel less embarrassed, but not enough to let her know if he felt similarly or was disgusted by her.

"Do I have to get a shot?"

"What are you talking about you silly girl?" Jude laughed.

"Wait seems like a doctor's office."

"Oh!" Jude laughed. "Yes it does. He's not a doctor, not of the body, but he councils people…in some ways he's a bit like a doctor of the mind. He's here to make your heart feel better."

"Do I have to lay on a couch, like Freud?"

"What?" Jude laughed again.

"That's what Oliver said about mind doctors. He said that's what he wants to do when he grows up."

"Yes, Oliver is a strange boy." Jude said, stating her thoughts on young Oliver mildly. Mary agreed, giggling about her friend.

"Brother Howard will see you now." The nun secretary said. Jude couldn't help but smile when she turned around and saw that Timothy had opened his door.

…

Jude could barely keep her mind focused on the task at hand, beaming back at Timothy like a raging idiot. She was supposed to be listening, but instead watched adoringly as he played with Mary Eunice. She sighed, for a moment imagining that he was her husband, and was playing with their beautiful little girl. Jude shook her head, stopping herself from such imaginings. She'd been hurt too much: the last thing on earth she wanted to was to get hurt by thinking of them this way. Although if she could, she' d admit there'd be nothing in life she'd like more than to take Timothy as a husband, and more than that, Mary as a daughter.

The nun felt guilty for what she'd been doing. The girl didn't realize it yet; and she hoped she never would, at least not until she could figure a way out. She didn't think it was even possible. Jude, you see, wanted to adopt Mary Eunice as her own. Even if she left the church, and found employment she didn't think it could happen. The church would never let a disgraced nun adopt one of its charges, not in a million years. The thought broke Jude's heart and she tried to reason that she should let it go, and find Mary a real home with a mother and a father….

At the same time, she held out hope. Adopting Mary, she wanted to argue, had been something God had placed on her heart. And she knew, deep down, that there had to be away. Jude sighed; watching Timothy play with her little girl. He was so sweet and had a way with kids. It made him even more attractive to her.

"Sister Jude." Timothy said.

She ignored him and just continued to stare off into space.

"Sister Jude." He tried again.

She jumped. "Oh, oh I'm sorry, Brother Howard."

"It's alright." He smiled and her heart quickened.

"Mary is a perfectly perfect little girl." He smiled at her. "But I still want her to come back and see me, once a week." Mary nodded. She liked him. He reminded her of her father and talking with him had made her feel much better. "Mary I want to let you know that it's alright to feel bad. You will for a long time, but you can still be happy, _and _learn and grow while learning to get over your pain. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah!" She cried excitedly.

…..

"So that make ya feel better?" Jude asked, taking the girl's hand as they walked out of the church and down the street.

"Yeah." She hesitated. "But I…"

"What?"

Timothy had encouraged her to be honest and open about her feelings. She had something, in light of this, that she wanted to say to Jude but didn't find it appropriate.

"Nothing."

"Ya can tell me anything." Jude said, getting on her knees.

"I just…" She paused, taking the sleeves of the nun's habit in her hands. She looked down, fidgeting with the sleeves. Jude knew in that instant that the girl was nervous.

"Remember ya can say anything ta me."

"Jude I don't want a new family." The girl began, still looking down, but Jude looked back carefully at her. "I just want you." She said as she looked up, their eyes meeting in an instant.

"Oh Mary Eunice. I would love nothing more. But ya see when ya adopt…well, the church and the state they both want there ta be a Mommy and a Daddy."

Mary tilted her head sadly. "Can't you get one?"

Jude smiled sadly. "It's not that easy. But I promise you." She said, rubbing her nose sweetly against the girl's. "Whether its with me or not, I'm going to make sure you get the best home in the whole world."

"I could only have a good one with you." She said, almost crying.

"Oh my girl." Jude hugged her. "Shuu. Let's not focus on it now, maybe we'll get a miracle. Remember we talked about those?"

"Uh-huh."

"Come on now, ice cream, my treat."

Mary thought quickly as she walked down the street, holding Jude's hand. Where could she find a father, a husband for Jude? Especially one that she liked, after all, that was important wasn't it? Her own mother and father had liked each other very much.

"So, did ya like Brother Howard? I told ya he wouldn't be so scary."

Mary looked up when she said this, already understanding that Jude liked Brother Howard.

"No." She said. "He was perfect!"

Jude smiled, not understanding the child's double meaning.


End file.
